Whew! This week has been downright crazy, and we only had 3 days of classes! I am SOOOO glad that it is Labor Day weekend already! How sad is that man? I love being here, and I know I'm going to enjoy my classes, but it's going to be a ton of work this year! Civ will be interesting, I really like Dr. Powell and Dr. Cole already, so that'll be cool. I'm nervous about the crazy amount of work coming, but it's cool. I'm kind of worried about Intro to Church Music... I'm excited about the class, but I'm always afraid that I'm not going to be "as spiritual" as the person sitting next to me or something. I know that I a studying the field God wants me to, but I don't know where I'm going with it. EEK! Of course, I already knew that, it's just hitting home all the sudden. It'll be fun though. I think God will use this class to bring all of us much closer to Him, which I'm very excited about! That's my prayer, anyway. I've been doing much better this week about doing my quiet time! I know that shouldn't be a big accomplishment, but it kind of is for me. I know that it's what's required of me, but I don't do it. :(. I'll have to get much better about it this year, though, because we get to journal about it for Church Music! :S lol.
Ohhh! Dr. McQuade (my voice prof) said that if I keep singing the way I did for her yesterday, I can go to NATS!! That would be so awesome! It kind of makes me feel like I am getting somewhere with this whole voice thing. I feel like I struggle so much, and (like I said a few weeks ago) I'm just not used to it, but I'm trying and I'm trusting God, so here goes!
God Bless!
Friday, August 29, 2008
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
My Amazing Week
So, Casey's been visiting this week. I'm absolutely ecstatic! It's been so awesome having him here! He makes my heart happy. Well, that's all for now.
That, and I'm SUPER ready to be back at OBU!!
Love y'all and God Bless!
That, and I'm SUPER ready to be back at OBU!!
Love y'all and God Bless!
Friday, August 15, 2008
Saying "I'm Sorry"
...is something I do too often. Of course, let me clarify.
It's not that I intend to go around offending people. I absolutely hate coming across rudely to others. On top of that, of course, is what the New Testament states about offense. It's basically (my paraphrase) that if you do something that will cause your brother (mainly a Christian who is younger than you) to stumble (sin), then YOU yourself are in sin. But mainly I just really hate the idea of offending or generally causing grief to someone else.
But I can't go around all the time apologizing. It's ridiculous. For example, when I'm in the computer center, and all the computers are completely full, why should I feel so bad about having to inform a patron that there is no room for them? It's no one's fault, but I guess if you had to blame someone, it would be that patron's fault because they neither made an appointment nor came at a time when there was an open computer. I need to stop being so timid when it comes to stuff like that. Being a naturally quiet person is very different from being a meek little mouse who refuses to stand up for herself.
So that's my thought for the day. Ttyl! God bless!
It's not that I intend to go around offending people. I absolutely hate coming across rudely to others. On top of that, of course, is what the New Testament states about offense. It's basically (my paraphrase) that if you do something that will cause your brother (mainly a Christian who is younger than you) to stumble (sin), then YOU yourself are in sin. But mainly I just really hate the idea of offending or generally causing grief to someone else.
But I can't go around all the time apologizing. It's ridiculous. For example, when I'm in the computer center, and all the computers are completely full, why should I feel so bad about having to inform a patron that there is no room for them? It's no one's fault, but I guess if you had to blame someone, it would be that patron's fault because they neither made an appointment nor came at a time when there was an open computer. I need to stop being so timid when it comes to stuff like that. Being a naturally quiet person is very different from being a meek little mouse who refuses to stand up for herself.
So that's my thought for the day. Ttyl! God bless!
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Micah's Response to "Struggle"
So, after I sent Micah a copy of my last blog, she sent me this response. I almost cried! Well, I would have if I hadn't been at work (lol). It makes me even more glad that I am blessed to have her as a friend! So...:
Okay...you almost got me to cry...and you know that's a big deal! But I am speechless. Seriously, you know that I feel the same. I can't tell Kelly or Paige or my mom how much I deeply desire to be married (even though, if they asked, I would tell them).
I was actually just thinking last night: If I had to start planning a wedding RIGHT NOW, who would I choose as my Maid of Honor? Well Jacs (I hope you like your new nickname), I choose you! While my other friends are great and I know that they are there for me, none of them have shown the loyalty that you have shown me within the last year. If I need to be irrational and selfish for a few minutes, you let me...and then you snap me back to reality. You humor me and let me call you at crazy hours to let me cry to you that my boyfriend (should we really even call him that? It was 10 DAYS!) just broke up with me with the classic "Christian" excuse.
It's so funny that I was just thinking about the exact same stuff. While all of my other friends have been great through the years, none can compare to you, Jacqueline Marie. I love how when the things in my life get ridiculous (and ridiculous is the right terminology because I have never had as much drama in my life as I have with the past semester), you match my hysterical condition and then take it to the next level. You get angry FOR me, and I love it!
Maybe I just try to see too much of the good in people, but I cannot see you as the Jr. High girl who lashes out at her mother. That doesn't even fit the description of the Jaci that I know! But it helped make the Jaci that I know and love today. I wish you were here with me every second of every day so that I wouldn't have to call you with updates or send you Facebook messages. And I REALLY wish that I could just sit in "the chair" and all my problems would go away.
By the way, you are NEVER allowed to get rid of that chair because even when we are old, I will still barge into your room/house and sit in that chair and tell you what stupid thing some boy (husband? son?) has done.
By the way, I have been meaning to tell you how blessed you are to have Casey in your life. I know that we constantly tease him about being a tortoise, but trust me, it's WAY better than the hare. Think of it as a dance. Casey is taking his time to make this dance as memorable and beautiful as it should be, and I really hope you appreciate that. Enjoy every moment with him. He's the first guy that I have been truly okay with my friend dating. Paige and Jordan are good together, but there is something magical about seeing a couple who, above all, is trying to glorify God. If you two wrote a book on dating, I would buy it!
Anyways, I love you and am done with "Breaking Dawn" (omg! Go buy it!). So, call me, Facebook me, whatev.
Okay...you almost got me to cry...and you know that's a big deal! But I am speechless. Seriously, you know that I feel the same. I can't tell Kelly or Paige or my mom how much I deeply desire to be married (even though, if they asked, I would tell them).
I was actually just thinking last night: If I had to start planning a wedding RIGHT NOW, who would I choose as my Maid of Honor? Well Jacs (I hope you like your new nickname), I choose you! While my other friends are great and I know that they are there for me, none of them have shown the loyalty that you have shown me within the last year. If I need to be irrational and selfish for a few minutes, you let me...and then you snap me back to reality. You humor me and let me call you at crazy hours to let me cry to you that my boyfriend (should we really even call him that? It was 10 DAYS!) just broke up with me with the classic "Christian" excuse.
It's so funny that I was just thinking about the exact same stuff. While all of my other friends have been great through the years, none can compare to you, Jacqueline Marie. I love how when the things in my life get ridiculous (and ridiculous is the right terminology because I have never had as much drama in my life as I have with the past semester), you match my hysterical condition and then take it to the next level. You get angry FOR me, and I love it!
Maybe I just try to see too much of the good in people, but I cannot see you as the Jr. High girl who lashes out at her mother. That doesn't even fit the description of the Jaci that I know! But it helped make the Jaci that I know and love today. I wish you were here with me every second of every day so that I wouldn't have to call you with updates or send you Facebook messages. And I REALLY wish that I could just sit in "the chair" and all my problems would go away.
By the way, you are NEVER allowed to get rid of that chair because even when we are old, I will still barge into your room/house and sit in that chair and tell you what stupid thing some boy (husband? son?) has done.
By the way, I have been meaning to tell you how blessed you are to have Casey in your life. I know that we constantly tease him about being a tortoise, but trust me, it's WAY better than the hare. Think of it as a dance. Casey is taking his time to make this dance as memorable and beautiful as it should be, and I really hope you appreciate that. Enjoy every moment with him. He's the first guy that I have been truly okay with my friend dating. Paige and Jordan are good together, but there is something magical about seeing a couple who, above all, is trying to glorify God. If you two wrote a book on dating, I would buy it!
Anyways, I love you and am done with "Breaking Dawn" (omg! Go buy it!). So, call me, Facebook me, whatev.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Struggle
I am struggling. And I hate it. No seriously.
Hate.
I've never before struggled in anything. Everything in my life has come very easily to me. And I'm sick of having trouble with this.
"This" being music. Not that the music itself is hard. It's looking around at my classmates, who are all amazing, and wishing I were half as good as some of them. It frustrates me to no end not to be number one. And I know this is my pride and ego showing their ugly heads, and I'm working on it, but it's hard! My entire life, I have always been number one, in about everything. I've been top of my class since 1st grade, I've always been a "leader" (kind of) in the youth department...People have always come to me for advice. It's just hard to have to step back and say, "hey, I'm not perfect after all." Not that I've thought I was. But I was "better", in my mind, than so many of the people I spent time with. Now, I'm not amazing compared to the others. I'm just one of the crowd. I have to work at what I'm doing. And work hard. But I love it. I honestly can't imagine doing anything else. (Not that I know where my life is going exactly, but that's another blog for another time!)
As I type, I'm coming to realizations, so bear with me. As I was putting myself on this pedestal, I became more and more of an Elpheba (inside joke for a b****). I've been bossy, manipulative, and whatever else you can think of along that line. That's really the only way I can describe myself sometimes. To others, I've always been told that I was the perfection I made myself in to. I am an actress. I have been for a very long time. It has only been in recent months (ie. since going to OBU) that I have found a group of people with whom I can trust my SELF. The family and friends I've loved for most of my life love me, and are always there for me, but I've put such a show up for years...especially my early teens, when I was an absolute terror. After that, I felt like I had to keep up the persona. I couldn't show them the real me, or they'd get upset. Well, now, not only am I (much!) less afraid to be who God has created me, I am a different person. One who feels less ashamed of who she is in Him. I have changed in great ways, growing closer to Him. I am a much happier person that I was a year and a half ago.
I've seen the true love that God intended us to have one for another through the amazing people I've met this year at OBU. The past year has been life changing. The friends God has blessed me with have been wonderful, and I'm thankful that I have found people who love me for me, and I can be true with. I'm getting rather redundant here, but it's still the truth. As a matter of fact, I think I'll send this to my best friend. I think Miss Micah Reinhart deserves to hear how amazing she is.
That's all for now. Much love.
God bless anyone who reads this!
Let me know if you do, and maybe what you think!
Hate.
I've never before struggled in anything. Everything in my life has come very easily to me. And I'm sick of having trouble with this.
"This" being music. Not that the music itself is hard. It's looking around at my classmates, who are all amazing, and wishing I were half as good as some of them. It frustrates me to no end not to be number one. And I know this is my pride and ego showing their ugly heads, and I'm working on it, but it's hard! My entire life, I have always been number one, in about everything. I've been top of my class since 1st grade, I've always been a "leader" (kind of) in the youth department...People have always come to me for advice. It's just hard to have to step back and say, "hey, I'm not perfect after all." Not that I've thought I was. But I was "better", in my mind, than so many of the people I spent time with. Now, I'm not amazing compared to the others. I'm just one of the crowd. I have to work at what I'm doing. And work hard. But I love it. I honestly can't imagine doing anything else. (Not that I know where my life is going exactly, but that's another blog for another time!)
As I type, I'm coming to realizations, so bear with me. As I was putting myself on this pedestal, I became more and more of an Elpheba (inside joke for a b****). I've been bossy, manipulative, and whatever else you can think of along that line. That's really the only way I can describe myself sometimes. To others, I've always been told that I was the perfection I made myself in to. I am an actress. I have been for a very long time. It has only been in recent months (ie. since going to OBU) that I have found a group of people with whom I can trust my SELF. The family and friends I've loved for most of my life love me, and are always there for me, but I've put such a show up for years...especially my early teens, when I was an absolute terror. After that, I felt like I had to keep up the persona. I couldn't show them the real me, or they'd get upset. Well, now, not only am I (much!) less afraid to be who God has created me, I am a different person. One who feels less ashamed of who she is in Him. I have changed in great ways, growing closer to Him. I am a much happier person that I was a year and a half ago.
I've seen the true love that God intended us to have one for another through the amazing people I've met this year at OBU. The past year has been life changing. The friends God has blessed me with have been wonderful, and I'm thankful that I have found people who love me for me, and I can be true with. I'm getting rather redundant here, but it's still the truth. As a matter of fact, I think I'll send this to my best friend. I think Miss Micah Reinhart deserves to hear how amazing she is.
That's all for now. Much love.
God bless anyone who reads this!
Let me know if you do, and maybe what you think!
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