Why do I do this to myself? Why do I keep trying and trying, knowing the same result will come every time? Things have changed. Not for the better, this time. I'm not the person I was, which isn't a bad thing, but other people haven't changed at all. Or, if they have, it hasn't been a good thing. People don't always mature as they get older, and I'm finding that the people I've relied on for half my life no longer care to be a part of it. Or, if they care, they either don't know how or care to show it.
So, for my part, I will always continue to love this person, but I cannot put my heart and hope on the line and have is shattered again and again. 2 1/2 years. That is how long it's been going downhill. Of course, I am not blameless, but I've tried. Isn't that worth something? Maybe not, but it's all I can do.
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